Monday, July 27, 2015

22 Lies My Kids Tell

Did you see this gem last week from HuffPost Parents on white lies we tell our kids? Guilty as charged. Primarily we say them with good intentions -- to avoid a meltdown or maybe to have a moment of parental peace. But while I'm guilty of a fib here and there for my own sanity, my lies pale in comparison to the whoppers that come out of my children. Here are some of my favorites.

1. I washed my hands. With soap.
2. It was an accident.
3. He hit me ON PURPOSE.
4. I saw my brother drop my car behind the 150 lb bunk beds. *Cue 20 minute search and vacuuming underneath the bed.*
5. It was a joke. *Obviously*
6. I went to the bathroom. *Does potty dance*
7. I was being VERY gentle.
8. I cleaned everything up.
9. I brushed every tooth and I used toothpaste!
10. I don't know what happened.
11. I'm not whining. *Said in whiniest voice ever.*
12. I don't like pasta.
13. I'm not hungry! *Cue hangry meltdown in 3, 2, 1*
14. I didn't have a cupcake. *Licks frosting off face*
15. This is what I want to eat. No, seriously. THIS is what I want to eat. *Takes one bite*
16. I want to go on the giant Ferris wheel! I won't be scared. I promise.
17. It wasn't me.
18. I'd rather watch TV before bed than read books.
19. I do not have poop in my pants. *Entire room drops dead from smell wafting from diaper*
20. I napped.
21. I AM getting dressed. *Fast forward 20 minutes. Still wearing pajamas*
22. I'll be good. *Crosses fingers behind back*

Tell me I'm not the only one with little fibbers on my hands. Post your favorite #liesmykidstell to Twitter!

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