Thursday, February 4, 2016

Cleaning Confessions from a Mom of Three

Buttercup is turning one next week and we are having a little party for her this weekend. We only invited people we pretty much consider family so there's not a whole lot of pressure on me to throw the most Pinterest perfect party. However after the great sickness of November through January I've gotten pretty behind on my housekeeping. And considering I have three kids, my standards are pretty low to begin with. How low, you ask? Let me explain...

I vacuum the couch. We have a dog so with the whole shedding thing the couch has to vacuumed pretty regularly. I know you're thinking, Everyone vacuums the couch. What's so special about that? I don't have time to use that tiny two inch hose attachment to vacuum my whole couch. No no. When I say I vacuum my couch, I mean I lift that whole vacuum on to the cushions and GO. TO. TOWN. Voila! The whole couch is vacuumed in under three minutes.

I vacuum everything. Since I have the mini Dyson ball, it lifts up to the couch easily, but it won't suck up whole Cheerios. Before I acquired the best vacuum ever (the dog) I crushed the cheerios with my toes so I could vacuum them up.

I make the kids help. They don't do a fantastic job, but they make most of this mess and one person cannot clean up after five people efficiently. This week they used baby wipes to wipe down all the kitchen cabinets. They can also unload the dishwasher, clean mirrors and windows, put away their clean laundry, dust with a swiffer, wipe tables, vacuum and  mop. Not bad for 3 and 5, right? But don't come in my house with your white glove. It's not perfect.

I let the dog help too. There's rarely anything but crumbs under my kitchen table because the whole point of having a dog is so someone else can climb under there and clean up. Seriously, we all have to pull our own weight around here.

I vacuum around my kid's crap. Often, there's only enough time to pick up their crap OR vacuum before they make such a big mess wherever they are occupying themselves that my efforts are futile. So I do a cursory pick up but I vacuum around the tubs of legos and the easel or even better I push them out of the way with the vacuum.

I don't mop. Like ever. By the time I vacuum, I'm out of time to mop. Plus, it is one of the most futile jobs ever. I mopped the living room and dining room yesterday and by last night I could see little paw prints everywhere. This morning, the three year old crushed a piece of chalk all over the already not so freshly mopped floor. In addition to that, we still haven't gotten around to refinishing our hardwood floors so even when I do mop, you literally cannot tell the difference.

Super Scrubber 5000
I have special tools. My husband built me this Super Scrubber 5000 out of a drill and a scrub brush. It works wonders on sinks and tubs. Miracles, actually.

It's not that I don't want a clean house. I do. Desperately. But my house is not a museum. Frankly, my kids and I are just too busy living here to keep it immaculate. And my sanity is far more important than a spotless home. I try, but I've got to be realistic, right?

What's your cleaning confession? Do you have a secret to getting the house guest ready?