The Pounds of Parenting

Last week I officially hit the five years of parenting milestone. In that time, I have been to a lot of playgroups, parks, beaches, school events and birthday parties and I have had the privilege to meet and observe many, many mothers in action. All of these mothers are incredible, hard working, selfless people, but beyond that I noticed many of us have one thing in common: we're fat. I know that is a rather unpopular word these days with all the body affirmation jazz and fat shaming that is happening all over the internet, but before you get out your pitchfork and gather the mob, hear me out. Seeing all of these overweight mothers made me wonder if motherhood itself is expanding our waistlines.

Here are six reasons maintaining a healthy weight is harder for mothers:

1. We are sleep deprived. I've read countless articles lately on the correlation between weight gain and sleep deprivation. How many mothers get eight hours in every night? I can personally attest to overeating when I'm tired. I can't think straight and it's almost as if I can't figure out what's wrong with me. So I eat to try to fill the void the lack of sleep left.

2. The baby weight, obviously. We gain 20-40 pounds growing another human being inside our bodies then rip ourselves to pieces evicting that small human. Not only do we have to heal and figure out how to care for our beautiful, crying, bundle of joy, but we also have to figure out what to do with our new bodies. It's no small task. Learning to balance my son's needs with my own was very difficult, especially in the first year.

3. We are beached. Somehow, dads always seem to end up with the more active jobs in parenting. The next time you go to the beach take a minute to watch what the moms are doing vs. the dads. Frequently, I see the dads splashing around in the water and throwing big kids into the waves. The moms, on the other hand are sitting on the beach, preparing a meal, reapplying sunscreen, nursing the baby, or just reading a book because they finally have five minutes of peace. Some moms don't even bother to wear their bathing suits; maybe because they hate the way they look in them, or maybe because they've just resigned to being the beached parent. If you aren't going to have an opportunity to go in the water, why wear a bathing suit?

4. We are too busy to eat or eat well. I can't tell you how often I am absolutely starving by the time I sit down and eat lunch because between feeding the kids, swapping out the laundry before it mildews, stirring dinner in the crock pot, changing the baby's diaper, letting the dog out, then breaking up a fight, the one hour window between school pick up and nap time blows by and I didn't even get a chance to make myself something, much less eat it. And of course when I am starving I choose fast, easy, bad-for-me food and I eat too much.

5. We are inherently self sacrificing. Now I am no Mother Teresa, but I feel like I am frequently putting my own needs aside in order to care for the needs of others. If I really want to exercise I have to make time to, which usually means I have to choose exercise over something else, like clean my house. More often than not I will choose to do something that benefits my children or husband over doing something just for myself. Unfortunately, there is never a shortage of things to do in this household and so I constantly give myself the short end of the stick.

6. There is cake everywhere. Birthday parties, play groups, PTA meetings and of course every holiday. Every time I turn around there are donuts and cookies, cinnamon rolls, or chips. I have a lot of will power, but I usually break down after the fifth temptation.

If you add a pound or two for each of these, that's an extra TWELVE pounds! While all these things may indeed make it harder to maintain a healthy weight, I don't think it's impossible. I'm not trying to say that we have to accept that these are the facts of motherhood and we should learn to love those love handles. It's an uphill battle and we have to make conscious choices to be more active all the time.

Choose to hand the baby off to dad and go splash in the waves or swim a few laps. Don't settle for being the beached parent. Make yourself a healthy lunch the night before when you pack the kids lunches. Leave the dishes in the sink and go to bed early. Choose YOU, sometimes. You don't deserve the short end of the stick all the time.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off the exercise extreme will power at a PTA meeting.

Would you rather have a sexy wife or a clean house?

This is not my house. Not even close.

We have officially entered a new phase of parenting: school. Though Dash is only in TK we've already been to our first PTA meeting and have been wrangled into helping out at the school with various events and fundraisers. Knox has also started preschool and has his own list of activities that require parent involvement. Don't get me wrong; I am really excited for this phase. Both our schools are full of amazing staff and parents and I look forward to being a part of this new community. But all this change means we need to shift our lives a little to make room for all these new adventures and that takes some finesse.

At the same time, I've found myself back in another phase I'm quite familiar with: The baby weight battle. I've set some realistic goals (about 10-15 lbs in 6 months) and I dangled the motivational carrot (permission to purchase a smoking hot dress to wear to a wedding we are going to in the spring and maybe some new clothes to wear on our vacation) and I've carved out some time for exercise.

There's only one problem.

Between school events and obligations, family time, blogging, and exercising, I have zero time to keep up on my house. This week I had three days where I only had one child for three consecutive hours and I did not have time to do any housekeeping except for dishes. No laundry. No vacuuming. Forget about dusting. One day was dedicated to errands, another day I walked our rather neglected dog and worked on the blog and today I took a long exercise-y walk with a friend. When I realized my entire week was gone and I had nothing to show for it, I messaged Mr. Sir:

Would you rather have a sexy wife or a clean house?

And with the entire internet as my witness, this is what he said:

LOL, but seriously...a sexy wife.

And there you have it folks. Please don't judge me for the state of my house the next time you drop by. Because according to my husband of almost 8 years, this lady right here *points thumbs at self* is more important than a Pinterest - perfect house. And though I haven't had time to talk to my husband in detail about his answer to my question, I can tell you that he doesn't want a sexy wife because he needs some arm candy. (I mean, we have three kids under 5; we don't go anywhere on a Friday night except to bed.)

He wants a sexy wife because I'm happier when I'm exercising. I sleep better when in taking care of myself. I'm more confident when I feel sexy. I have more energy when I give myself permission to do something for me. Of course, there are other fringe benefits for him but mostly, I'm the glue that holds this place together. When mama's happy, everyone is happy. Investing in me is an investment in everyone in our family. Who cares what our house looks like if the people who are in it are rays of happy sunshine? Ok, let's be honest. I care what my house looks like, but letting loose on the reins a little while we find our new groove won't hurt. 

So happy Monday, friends. Cheers to starting a new week with a fresh perspective. And a messy, but happy house. 

Six Ways to Sneak in your Exercise

The exercising zen-master guru pictured is not me. Not even close. 

When I have a few minutes free from my kiddos, the last thing I want to do is hit the gym. Though I know I feel better when I do, I feel like exercise is a chore and I enjoy it about as much as I enjoy scrubbing my toilets. So I've devised a way to sneak my exercise in during the day while I'm home with the kids.

1. Dance Party. I love music and my kids love to shake their groove thing. So a few times a week, we put on some good dancing music. For maximum calorie burn try these moves: Risky Business Sock Slide, high jumps, any move that includes picking your kids up and swinging them around.

2. Clean & Chase. This is exactly what it sounds like. Chase your children around the house and tickle them if you catch them. While you are at it, pick up a few toys from the living room and toss them in the kids' room. Pick up all the dirty socks and toss them in the washer. You'll have a cleaner house, tired children and an awesome workout by the time you are done.  

3. Vacuum & Mop. It needs to be done anyway and if you do the whole house, you'll probably break a sweat by the time you finish.

4. Take an after dinner walk. We have a dog, so we always have a good excuse to take a walk. In the summer we like to walk after dinner; it can be a great motivator to get the kids to finish their dinner and it's a good way to expend the last of their energy before bedtime. For me, dinner tends to be the heaviest meal of the day and I'm less likely to spiral into a food coma if I get moving. Sometimes the boys ride their bikes which means I have to hustle to keep up with them. I'm also usually carrying Buttercup in the carrier or pushing her in the stroller. 

5. Piggy back rides. What kid doesn't love to ride their own personal beast of burden? Saddle up (or Daddle up if you prefer) and after a few circles around the house you'll be sweating.

6. Go to the Park. I took all three kids to park last week and pushed the boys on the swing while carrying my daughter in the Ergo until my arms ached. Killer workout and tired kids who played at the park all day? Talk about win win.

If I can squeeze a few of these calorie burners in each day, I feel better, accomplish more and I can watch TV with Mr. Sir before bed guilt-free.

How about you? Do you have your own sneaky exercise routine? I could use your inspiration!